Friday, September 3, 2010

What Happens If You Don't Take Personal Responsibility?

You know you are not accepting personal responsibility if you do the opposite: blame others for your problems, life situation, hardships, character flaws, and just about everything and anything else. Rather than accepting the "blame" or responsibility for how your life is, you make excuses. Everything and anybody is to blame -- except yourself.

But actually, you may be blaming others more than you think.

Have you ever:
- blamed slow traffic/truck drivers/slow drivers for being late to an appointment?
- blamed someone for your bad day?

People who take responsibility, on the other hand, would have handled these situations as follows:
- admitted that they should have left a few minutes earlier for their appointment.
- accepted that no one is to blame for their bad day, other than themselves.

Blaming on others bring on stress

Harboring negative emotions and anger means you are living with chronic stress, the type that eats away at you little by little. Chronic stress is the type of stress that has been linked to fatigue, back pain, stomach upset and headaches, along with numerous more serious illnesses, including:
- heart disease
- cancer
- depression
- autoimmune diseases

Signs you are avoiding personal Responsibility

It is often easy to spot someone else who blames others (they may be the one constantly complaining about how bad their life is, yelling at others, or harboring an overly negative outlook on life), but it can be more difficult to spot it in yourself. If you do any of the following as a matter of course, you may be avoiding personal responsibility.
- you almost never believe you are wrong. If you asked others to be completely honest, they'd say you believe you are never wrong.
- you dwell a lot on the past instead of looking toward the future.
- you use other people's irresponsible behavior to justify your own ("They're driving way over the speed limit, so why shouldn't I?").
- you believe apologizing is a sign of weakness (instead of what it really is-- a sign of strength).
- you don't think you can change anything in your life for the better.
- you believe life is unfair and often feel sorry for yourself.

How to Take Responsibility, Stop Blaming Others and Start Living Your Life

Everyone blames someone else at one time or another. Nobody's perfect. And you may even be thinking, "But it WAS my spouse's/parent's/boss' fault that I missed my plane/don't trust others/don't make enough money."

Next time you're tempted to blame some else, accept responsibility yourself. Then, experience how much better you feel.

And it very well may be, but the key to living a long and happy life is knowing how to accept personal responsibility and not blame others -- even when it may be their fault. This does not mean you have to go through life letting others walk all over you. On the contrary, accepting personal responsibility means you have to take the high road and be the bigger person, even when it's hard. Here's how:

- apologize when you're wrong (this means first accepting that you're not always right).

- admit when you've made a mistake.

- learn to forgive

- be open to the ideas and opinions of others.

- identify the things in your life that you are not happy about, and do something to change them.

- practice saying, "I am responsible." Eventually, you will start to believe it.

- take smart risks, and realize that you are responsible for the outcomes.

- adopt a positive outlook on life (assume that things will go your way).

- recognize and embrace your own shortcomings, and ask others for help when you need it.




~Isabelle

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